The Roster

Founded the team out of a group chat and a half-serious “we should just enter one” in spring 2022. Plays the snake side, talks the whole way down it, and is usually the one filling out the registration form at 11pm the night before.

Handles the roster, the entry fees, and the stat sheet — which is why the stats page exists at all.

Day-one Leftover. Sits in the wire, laning the break, and has the highest eliminations-per-game on the team two seasons running. Will out-shoot anyone who tries to cross on him.

Fastest player on the roster and not shy about it. Runs the break, takes the front corner, and is generally either the first elimination of the point or the reason it ends early.

Showed up as a free agent for a single Saturday event and never left. Plays back, calls the field, and keeps the lane honest — the calmest voice in the huddle by a wide margin.

Came off a local rec squad and turned out to be the best insert player nobody had heard of. Quiet on the field, lethal at the 40.

Joined the season the team moved up a division and immediately started bumping into positions nobody asked for. It keeps working, so nobody’s asking.

Rotating free agent turned regular. Plays support on either side and will run whichever gap the captain points at.

Newest name on the sheet. Two events in, already leading the team in flag pulls, which is either promising or reckless depending on who you ask.